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Handling A Phone Call
From A Suicidal Person
Be yourself. The right words
are unimportant. If you are concerned, your voice and manner will show
it.
Listen. Let the person unload despair,
ventilate anger. If given an opportunity to do this, he or she will feel better
by the end of the call. No matter how negative the call seems, the fact that it
exists is a positive sign, a cry for help.
Be sympathetic, non-judgmental, patient,
calm, accepting. The caller has done the right thing by getting in touch with
another person.
If the caller is saying Im so
depressed, I cant go on, ask The Question:
Are you having thoughts of suicide? You
are not putting ideas in his
head, you are doing a good thing for him. You are showing him that you are
concerned, that you take him seriously, that it is OK for him to share his pain
with you.
If the answer is "yes," you can
begin asking a series of further questions: Have you thought about how you
would do it (PLAN); Have you got what you need (MEANS); Have you thought about
when you would do it (TIME SET). 95% of all suicidal callers will answer no at
some point in this series or indicate that the time is set for some date in the
future. This will be a relief for both of you.
Simply talking about their problems for a
length of time will give suicidal people relief from loneliness and pent up
feelings, awareness that another person cares, and a feeling of being
understood. They also get tired -- their body chemistry changes. These things
take the edge off their agitated state and help them get through a bad
night.
Avoid arguments, problem solving, advice
giving, quick referrals, belittling and making the caller feel that has to
justify his suicidal feelings. It is not how bad the problem is, but how badly
its hurting the person who has it.
If the person is ingesting drugs, get the
details (what, how much, alcohol, other medications, last meal, general health)
and call Poison Control at _______________. A shift partner can call while you
continue to talk to the person, or you can get the callers permission and
do it yourself on another phone while the caller listens to your side of the
conversation. If Poison Control recommends immediate medical assistance, ask if
the caller has a nearby relative, friend, or neighbor who can assist with
transportation or the ambulance. In a few cases the person will initially
refuse needed medical assistance. Remember that the call is still a cry for
help and stay with him in a sympathetic and non-judgmental way. Ask for his
address and phone number in case he changes his mind. (Call the number to make
sure its busy.) If your organization does not trace calls, be sure to
tell him that.
Do not go it alone. Get help during the
call and debrief afterwards.
Your caller may be concerned about someone
else who is suicidal. Just listen, reassure him that he is doing the right
thing by taking the situation seriously, and sympathize with his stressful
situation. With some support, many third parties will work out reasonable
courses of action on their own. In the rare case where the third party is
really a first party, just listening will enable you to move toward his
problems. You can ask, Have you ever been in a situation where
you had thoughts of suicide?
The most important pain-coping resource is the
help of a trained mental health professional. A person who feels suicidal
should get help, and get it
sooner rather than later.
By David L. Conroy, PhD. Reprinted with
permission.
The National Hopeline Network 1-800-SUICIDE
provides access to trained telephone counselors, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Or for a crisis
center in your area, go here.
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